Hi, my name is Scrooples . . .
I've been all over the net, ya know . . . around the block more than a few times . . . so to speak. My two dimensional jigsaw puzzle being came into existence in the early 1980's. I've been offered quite a few gigs since then but I was really intrigued with Compoz-A-Puzzle Inc. and the fine jigsaw puzzle products they manufacture. I don't know exactly what it is, about the company, that turns me on, but . . . whatever. When I first picked up this gig, as the spokesperson for Compoz-A-Puzzle® jigsaw puzzles, I was promised a SAG (Screen Actors' Guild) membership card. Well that all turned out to be bogus, and in the long run I had to settle for an affiliate membership, permitting me to use one of CAP's monitors with my very own VGA screenmaster's card. But, believe it or not, Compoz-A-Puzzle Inc. has since become my home -- not my home away from home, but my actual home. Everyone here lets me be myself, my very own jigsaw puzzle with pizzazzTM. They also let me contribute to writing the scripts for the jigsaw puzzles we sell. They even gave me my very own web page which ya lookin' at now. Pretty cool . . . huh?
I came into existence in the early 1980's, and my friends call me a real "piece of work". While Mr. Pieces was incapacitated with an ingrown toenail and rushed to a "toon" hospital back then, AR-1 made me temporary spokesperson for Compoz-A-Puzzle Inc. I was so outspoken and articulate on the subject of jigsaw puzzles that the public just loved me. Now they think I'm an innocent, docile creature trying to survive in a corrupt world. Let them think what they will. Of course, Mr. Pieces never forgave me for outdoing him in this function and plots (under his breath) to crack me into pieces whenever he figures out how. I told him to play with our Puzzled EggsTM if he wants to "crack something up". That clown has absolutely no sense of humor. I know that I'm irreverent at times, but I'm really as straightforward as an individual can get . . . though abrasive, if not outright obnoxious . . . but in the overall scheme of things, I'm a "mover" and a "shaker", and proud of it . . . so, take it, or leave it! I'm really not looking for any unsolicited testimonials . . so, "stick that in your pip and smick it!" Look . . . Mr. Pieces only gave me a 30 second slot, so I gotta go . . . I'll talk at ya later.
Just one more thing before I go. I've learned that Compoz-A-Puzzle® is where the action is. We make jigsaw puzzles that are the most fun for kids. Once ya grasp the concept you'll think of hundreds of ways of using them. So get with the program and make our jigsaw puzzles your jigsaw puzzles. You'll be glad you did . . . and if ya need a prod . . . O.K. (then here's my best plug) . . . Go ahead, place an order and be a hero to your kid . . . for now, anyway, you should take that as free advice. See ya later . . . I'm history for now.